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As you can see by this photo comparison, there should be no reason for Paparazzi to bother me. I'd like to stop hearing people compare me to him or ask me to say lines from movies. Hopefully Seth will go Farley and then I can go back to living my quiet little life.
This is a wee bit late but so important go now and check out The Future of The Ghost I'm still in shock from how well they got awesome on my show a couple weeks back. You can see them play live on August 3rd at Urban Lounge (a private club for blah-blahs).
Now its time to shake yer baby maker! This is Plastic Little
Well then you haven't lived MAAAAAN!
Ever eaten a steak at TGI Fridays? Well that my friend, in a nutshell, is the cuisine of Northern Carolina.
If you were wishing for me to post some cool pics from Carolina don't hold yer breath, about the only thing I was going to take a picture of was the state bird, the Swallowtailed Barn Moth. Its a great state I'm sure, I just need to be goin' back to Utah A-SAP!
If you want good BBQ come to my kitchen, because kids its meat snake time!
What too many !'s?
So yesterday I asked some people where I should go to get some good BBQ here in Durham-Raleigh-Chapel Hill (see I told you I'd learn) and they replied "Chili's".
FUUUUUUUUUACK!
Chili's? Chili's? Fucking Chili's?!!!!!!
If I wasn't in such a good mood I'd a strangled them all with my mouse cord. You see I'm a lot like Rachael Ray, if you say "Chili's" around me I go jugular like there's Tito's coursing through yer arteries. Chili's? In Northern Fucking Carolina? I drove for 45 minutes today, down back country roads, in the rain, windows down smelling and smelling trying to find a place for some ribs. No luck, tomorrow I'm going to Angus Barn just because I've lost all hope for ever finding good BBQ in North Carolina and I might as well just have a big steak.
You see if we don't kill them cattle theyz gunna die.
I found a few places that had "Grill" in their name, but they were too clean, you could see through the windows, the chairs all matched, well lite, seriously it's like I flew across the country to drive around Draper. Hell I'da eaten at any place in Moab over the concrete mall food courts I drove past these last few days.
Well enough of my bitchin' I'm in too fine of a mood to complain, look here's gus in a sink, that'll make ya smile.
So here I am in Raleigh-Durham triangle area, North Carolina, I still don't know what the third city is that makes it the trifecta but I'm sure by Thursday I'll know. As I woke up when the plane landed I caught a great end to a conversation:
"So what do you do for a living?"
"I make socks, its really fun and I make a really good living at it, put two kids through college"
Note to self, socks are salvation.
Having not eaten since Kahli's rum party I needed me some grub and since the old man sitting next to me gave me a sweet tip (that there's BBQ pork in this here state) I decided to start my Quest for Pork. The hostess at my hotel happened to be a vegetarian, yeah I know what are the odds that everyone I meet is one, but she told me there was a place people really like about 20 miles away. I gots nothin to do today so I decided to trek it out there to Smithfield's Chicken N Bar-B-Q.
I was a little turned off by the place, it was so clean and had a drive thru, but I didn't let that stop me. SC's had a nice simple menu, chicken white or dark, BBQ pork, hush puppies, coleslaw, mashed taters, and sweet tea by the gallon. Of course I fucked up right off the bat and asked the server what was good there, all I got for an answer was a wide-eyed stare. Ok, BBQ platter it is.
The slaw was good, the taters were great and the hush puppies were like little delicious fried dough sausages. Why is the safest place on skull island the river? Shouldn't there be some huge dino-pikes in there or something? Come on every single cave, log, cliff, or crevice on that forbidden island is full of human-craving monsters but not the river? What I love the most about eating pork at restaurants is the moment it hits my tongue and I know I've won again. This was good stuff, but it wasn't smoked, hell it wasn't even grilled, most likely baked or crock-potted but good. I know when I make a big ol' hunk of pork its gotta be smoked for at least 8 hours which not everyone does, specially people with a drive thru. So one place down and 3 days to go, if I can squeeze in 3 pork meals a day it'll still be a drop in the bucket for my quest for more knowledge on that delicious swine, and a few steps closer to a big fat coffin.
I'd like to thank Eagle Twin for playin on my show this weekend, they really kicked some ass and if you have a chance check them out this Wednesday the 11th at Burt's.
Well I'm off I just heard there's a desert BBQ shop down by the Ace and I needs me some ice cream since they've never heard of Otter Pops here.